Any cat parent knows that while they're technically the ones in charge on paper, it's the cats who really call the shots. We feed and water them daily, we lavish them with silly toys, and we give them the best sleeping spots on our furniture. I mean, come on - we even scoop out their litter boxes for them. If that alone doesn't make us cat servants, I don't know what does!
But does your cat know that they're the boss? If you really want to be sure, just ask yourself if your cat exhibits any of these 15 signs. If so, you might as well start bowing to your kitty overlord now!
1. They Wake You Up for Breakfast
Oops - you breathed a little too hard at 5:30 am, and now your cat is sitting on your chest, kneading its paws and meowing for you to get up. Congratulations: you're officially a kitty butler. Now go grab that kibble.
In all seriousness, if you're not already an early riser, this cat behavior isn't exactly ideal. An automatic feeder can help with unwanted wake-up calls, but you can also try feeding your cat at night or simply waiting a bit to feed them after getting up, breaking the association between wake-up time and instant gratification!
2. They Bring You Dead Animals as "Gifts"
For thousands of years, cats have helped humans as pint-sized pest control experts, killing mice, rats, insects, and other small food-stealing critters. That's all well and good, of course, but things take a gross turn when your cat drops their vanquished prey off at your feet as a "gift."
In part, this is just instinctual behavior, as cats are pack hunters. However, some cat owners theorize that our cats do this because they think we're too stupid to hunt for ourselves. Guess someone's gotta feed us big hairless dumb-dumbs!
3. They Rub Themselves All Over You
Cuddly kitties will bonk and nuzzle their little faces into you, weave their way between your legs while you're walking, and rub up against pretty much everything in your home.According to Cantonsville Cat Clinic, cats have scent glands in their forehead, lips, chin, tail, paws, and the sides of their heads. These scent glands are full of pheromones they use to mark their territory whenever they rub against an item - or a favorite person - that they consider theirs!
4. Your Cat Gets Dibs on the Furniture
Cats always get first dibs when it comes to snagging sleeping spots on furniture, even when they're in your special chair or on your side of the bed. Sure, you could pick them up and move them aside like a total monster, but you're bound to get a sullen side-eye from them at the very least. How dare you steal your master's snuggle station, peasant!
5. Forget the Furniture - You're the Furniture Now
Who needs a couch cushion when your human servant is just lounging around? Cats seem to intentionally plan the worst times to take a nap on our laps. It's always right when you're about to get up to go to the bathroom, or head to work, or do anything that doesn't involve being a human pillow. Well, too bad - kitty cuddles come first!
6. Your Home Is Their Personal Jungle Gym
Remember when you could decorate the tops of your bookshelves and mantles without fear of a wayward climber knocking everything over? That's nice, but your cat doesn't trouble themselves with such human trivialities. They need that furniture free for cat parkour!
7. They Follow You into the Bathroom
If you value your privacy on the john, don't get a cat. Some cats (mine included) are obsessed with following their owners into the bathroom. Theories about why they do this abound, but some believe it's part affectionate behavior, part protective instinct. On the toilet, you're alone and vulnerable, and your cat couldn't possibly leave you unprotected while your guard's down!
8. They Go for Long Walks on Your Keyboard
As a writer, this one hits home for me. My cat will occasionally attempt to walk across my keyboard or curl up on my forearms if I've been typing too long without giving him attention. He even used to bite on the corners of my laptop as a kitten, though thankfully I've gotten him to drop that behavior. Screen time cuts into valuable cuddle time, and your cat just can't have that!
9. Your Cat Craves Access to You at All Times
Even if your cat isn't constantly by your side, chances are they at least want the option to have access to whatever room you're in, just in case they want a quick cuddle or to say hi. If they can't get to you, expect to hear them complaining loudly about it!
10. They Can Summon You With the Slightest Meow
You may think that you've got your cat trained, but guess what? If you're willing to drop what you're doing and rush across the house at the teeniest, tiniest meow, your cat's got you trained right back! Your cat might not be your intellectual equal, but they still know how to use their cuteness to get their way!
11. They Become Deviant Little Food Thieves
Rules are for fools, and even if you sufficiently feed your cats every day, some greedy gobblers will still try to steal food outside of meal time. You can try adjusting feeding routines and amounts to see if that's the problem, but sometimes the only solution is to hide the kibble bag from prying toofies - I had to learn this one the hard way!
12. Mom! Dad! Watch Me!
This isn't universal behavior, but some cats lead their owners to their food bowl or litterbox so they can watch over them while they eat or do their business. According to veterinarian Lizzie Youens, some cats are "affectionate eaters" who want to feel safe and protected while they eat. Same goes for cats who like an audience when they use the litterbox - they wanna know you're looking out for them!
13. They "Make Biscuits" on You
Does your cat start off a cuddle sesh by kneading their paws on you like a baker tackling a big work order? According to the Cornerstone Veterinary Hospital of Clifton Park, cat kneading is a behavior kittens use to get milk from their moms, and adult cats may still knead as a sign that they're comfortable and happy. Cats also have scent glands in their paws, and by "making biscuits" on you, they're marking you as their territory!
14. They Pee Outside the Litterbox
Urine marking, or cat spraying, should be taken seriously, as it can be a sign of a serious medical issue like a urinary tract infection. If there's no medical cause, though, your cat may be spraying to mark its territory as a dominant act, or simply warning you that their litterbox is overdue for a cleaning! Whatever the case, its an unpleasant sign that's something's up and you need to intervene, whether that means taking a trip to the vet, training away unwanted marking behavior, or swapping in fresh kitty litter.
15. Your Cat Grooms You
Some cats like to affectionately "groom" their owners by licking them with their sandpapery tongues. According to PetMD, cats may groom their owners as a sign of affection, to get their attention, and - you guessed it - to mark their territory. Be wary of excessive grooming, though, since that can be a sign of anxiety.
Accepting Our Feline Overlords
Some potentially "dominant" behaviors, such as urine marking or excessive attention seeking, are genuine problems that need to be addressed. That being said, as long as these behaviors are dealt with, is it so wrong to let your cat feel like they're the boss, at least a little bit? As far as I'm concerned, if my cat's mild superiority complex is the price of his loyalty and affection, it's a price I'm willing to pay!
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